what we all want from our relationships

Connection and enjoyment.

While we all enjoy some time to ourselves, it’s clear that we are wired for connection with others, as long as it is safe emotionally and otherwise. Both parties benefit from the connection, so it’s a double win.

We can’t love, develop character traits like loyalty, unselfishness, kindness, forgiveness or patience without someone else.

Beyond connection, there is another desire of our hearts. That’s enjoyment.

I think the counseling practice is largely about helping individuals enjoy the relationships they have chosen for their life. Of course, it’s not always easy. We all know if it were that easy, we would all do it well.

Here are three simple practical tips to help you get started in maximizing the enjoyment level of your relationships.

Edit yourself.

Often what steals our joy is careless conversation, on our part or on the part of the other. There really is more than one way to express your thoughts. By carefully thinking through and choosing your words, often we can protect the joy in our relationship (or grow it!).

Restrain yourself.

Gentleness is using only the amount of strength necessary to get the job done, whether we are picking up a newborn kitten, touching one another or asking for what we want. We can always add more strength if needed.

Encourage the other.

It’s really kind of hard to over encourage. We can encourage with our eyes, our words, our voices, and our prayers. Also, it’s hard to be disconnected from someone that you pray for regularly.

I hope this gets you started on adding to this tip list that can add more enjoyment to the relationships you have chosen!

Rev. Greg Griffin is a Board Certified Pastoral Counselor, Amen Certified Brain Health Coach, and Forgiveness Coach in private practice in Marietta, GA. His specialty is relationship repair and rescue- helping partners, spouses, and parents and their adolescents. He’s also the author of The SPEEPS© Self Care Plan Workbook, Dungeon Times Survival Guide, and Vital Faith.

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