She started thinking about Valentine’s Day and what she could get her hubby. She thought back to some of the thoughtful gifts that she had given him in the past, and while he seemed appreciative of them, he seemed the most excited about the possibility of lovemaking.
He only had about 48 hours left before Valentine’s Day and still had not gotten his wife a gift. He quickly surfed around on his phone to find a good deal on some flowers and maybe a special box of chocolates. Does this sound like a typical Valentine’s Day preparation? Yeah, there are some guys who knock it out of the park with a memorable experience (and the rest of us guys hate him), but what would top even the grandest gesture is a gift that any woman would choose in a heartbeat. In fact, that same gift is what any man would choose as well.
It’s the gift of trust. More than anything else in an intimate relationship, a partner desires a trustworthy mate. During the course of a long relationship or marriage, there are certain to be some breaches of trust on both sides. Hey, we are all human. Hopefully, the mistakes are not huge ones. Sometimes though, they are. In any case, every healthy relationship requires the restoration of trust.
So how can we give the gift of trust to our loved one? A great place to start is to ask him or her what would mean the most to them. Perhaps it’s trading social media passwords, or maybe it’s a phone call to let the other know where they’re going and when they’ll be home (and arriving at the time you said). Often, it is a simple and yet heartfelt gesture that means the most, and then doing that gesture on a reliable basis. You can only give a day’s worth of trust at a time.
The best way to build trust is to give of yourself to your partner. Yep, putting the needs of the other above your own. Or, you can just keep giving the gifts of flowers, chocolate, and sex, and see how it works out for you.
Rev. Greg Griffin is a Board Certified Pastoral Counselor and Forgiveness Coach in private practice in Marietta, GA. His specialty is relationship repair and rescue- helping partners, spouses, and parents and their adolescents. He’s also the author of Dungeon Times Survival Guide, and Vital Faith.