It’s easy to tell whether a wound has healed. If it still hurts when you think about whatever created the wound, you haven’t gotten over it yet. Often, to think about it again intensifies the pain even more. What you feel is resentment, and it’s sure to grow into bitterness if left untreated.
Resentment and bitterness are the long-term symptoms of unforgiveness. By letting the wound fester, you subject yourself to a life of torment.
Torment? That’s a strong word, one we don’t use often… but I’ll bet you understand it. Here are the tell-tale signs of torment…
- Control issues
- Many heart, lung and other internal medicine illnesses
We know that forgiveness is the cure, but some of us choose these ailments over healing. Why? The great writer CS Lewis had a great answer to this.
“Everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.”
So, it’s not “that” easy… and that’s why we’re not all doing it.
There are several reasons we’re all slow (if not entirely reluctant) to forgive. Here are just a few I’ve heard.
- Forgiveness feels like letting someone off the hook. “If I forgive them, they’ll think it’s okay to do this again.” Does that sound familiar?
- They haven’t asked for forgiveness, or they don’t deserve it. Whether it’s true or not, we tend to believe that forgiveness is something to be sought from the one who did wrong, not something the one who was wronged should choose.
- Forgiving someone might mean having to trust them again, and that seems undesirable and even impossible.
- Forgiveness is earned. They hurt me and they owe me. Once they change and apologize, I’ll consider it.
If you have thought or voiced any of the above, forgiveness coaching could be the answer you’ve been looking for.
Here’s what a forgiveness coaching session can do for you.
- Affirm that what the other person did is NOT okay.
- Find the freedom your heart desires- even if the other person refuses to apologize.
- Affirm that forgiveness does NOT require reconciliation.
- You can learn how to choose forgiveness for what’s happened and learn how to be prepared for the next time you’re wounded- and be so glad you did.
- Lighter and more joyful living, and peaceful sleep!
If being free from torment sounds good to you, I invite you to reach out for a free phone consultation, or text or email me to learn more. Your heart’s freedom is at stake.
Rev. Greg Griffin is a Board Certified Pastoral Counselor and Forgiveness Coach in private practice in Marietta, GA. His specialty is relationship repair and rescue- helping partners, spouses, and parents and their adolescents. He’s also the author of Dungeon Times Survival Guide, and Vital Faith.